The Rise of the Fylgja
Some of us are living wrong lives. Some of us have been thrown off course by years of expectations from our families, teachers, or spouses. Some of us were handed lives from our ancestors that we did not want. We have fantasies of a life that we’ve always wanted to live. We have nighttime visions of a version of us that could happen, but we spend most of our time distracting ourselves instead of seeking that change. We spend a lot of energy justifying to others how happy we are. Yet, we secretly despise those who are truly confident and happy in their own skin. We talk a lot about how we are so good and powerful, yet we crumble when others fail to recognize us. We spend a lot of time looking for enemies instead of passions. We spend a lot of time obsessing about the actions of others. We fail to see how we affect people around us energetically. We fail to see we have trapped ourselves.
This was a version I lived for a long time. I know that way of life well. In the last two years, I went through a series of relationships and external experiences that taught me what and who my Fylgja is. The Fylgja is the part of our souls reflected in the world. It is woven throughout the external events of our lives. When it is dormant (sleeping in a ring of fire), our lives follow the patterns and cycles laid down to up by our parents. Some of us might be lucky to have parents who have a Fylgja that is half way awake. My father’s was awake for a short time (and it changed his whole destiny), but he lived in an age where there was no support for such transformation and he unwittingly smothered his Fylgja back to sleep. Now that my brain has altered with the rise of my Fylgja, I now know that as a young girl, I recognized what was happening. I saw his Fylgja, his Bear Fetch, many times. I just didn’t understand what I was seeing at the time.
Flash forward 30 years and I find myself on a hunt for this thing called Fylgja, interviewing anyone and everyone I can find who would talk to me about their experience. The journey woke mine up and it was the most traumatic series of events of my life.
For 2 years, I thought I was going crazy every day. I was seeing things my mind could not understand. I was hallucinating and hearing things. I was obsessed with finding him. I hunted him like some spiritual detective. I hunted him like Moby Dick hunted his White Whale, with a resolve more than anything I’ve ever done.
I would ask him questions aloud and strangers on the street would turn to me an answer, like some spirit was riding them. I would ask for help and it would come, in guises that continually surprise me. Meanwhile, every vestige of my former life collapsed. No one understood me. I didn’t want to do anything I used to do. I didn’t want to paint. I didn’t want my marriage. I didn’t want my job. I didn’t want the town I lived in.
I lost most of my friends. I lost my marriage. I lost my job. I lost my sanity.
But I gained something in the experience that I will never ever lose again…and that was myself. I learned more about myself in the last 2 years than I ever have. I have learned about myself by seeing the reflection of my Fylgja in other people. The reason being that my Fylgja is human. He communicates to me via his nature – people.
The fascinating thing I am learning is that not everyone’s Fylgja is human. Some are spirits of nature. Some are elements. Some are constructs. That would make their Fylgja journey much different. Some people find their Fylgjas on a lonely mountain top or in the wilderness. Some people find theirs in a school of esoteric learning or in books and symbols. Some find theirs through the works of their hands. Some find them through human to human interaction. The Fylgja journey is based on the individual’s needs and their own methods of esoteric communication.
I have noticed that those magic workers whose Fylgjas are more animal or landvaettir based, have a disdain for people. Those whose Fylgjas are more conceptual by nature are usually recluses. Those who have human Fylgjas (usually Alfar or Disir) are the ones who tend the Folkways and love interacting with people. My Alfar arising in me changed my world completely. The way I interacted with people changed. My whole personality changed, and since my goal was to find my Fylgja, I gladly sacrificed all that to him.
What has resulted is a new me that I am learning. I also have ways of seeing things that others don’t. My sight isn’t like in the magic books. My Fylgja speaks in a language that is not spoken, only felt. It is a language we are developing together and with each new experience I have, I learn more nuances of that language.
There are no books for this work, probably because so many people have had such vastly different experiences. There are no organizations supporting this work. Most people think you are mad when you tell them about it. They freak out when they see it. In about 24 hours they forget they had…the mind so easily rationalizes events that it cannot comprehend. There are so few of us out there, that many with awakened Fylgja often develop complexes and have disdain for anyone coming to them about Fylgja work. Even others, have spent so long alone that when they meet another person with a fylgja, they run for fear. Fylgjas cannot destroy another Fylgja. That’s not how they work. Fylgjas live in a realm of Divine Power and none of that can be destroyed. We can put our connection to our Fylgjas asleep, we can run from them by developing co-dependent relationships that distract us from them….but they are there, always watching. The saddest thing I see is when I encounter weeping Fylgjas…Fylgjas of people who have turned their backs on Love and connection with the Universe. They choose to fill that connection with fear and anger instead of Joy and Power. I feel the Despair and Desperation of their Fylgja as it rides me.
A lot of people talk about Fylgja, but I can tell they still haven’t woken theirs because I cannot talk to it. Woken Fylgjas talk to one another. It’s really a beauty to behold. In the few people who have let me get close with woken Fylgjas, I have seen all of our lives become much luckier and happier in the process. The Woken Fylgjas dance and collaborate. They conspire for our strength and happiness. I sometimes weep at the beauty I see most days.
For out of the darkness, arose such light I could not have imagined. The light of the Alfar and Disir surely does exist and it is a light I know I will joyfully cultivate for the rest of this lifetime. This is why I talk so openly about this magic, because I want our Heathen Folk to know that the Gods do indeed live in us ad they can grow and unfold in us through our Fylgja work.
I also know that with the light comes the darkness. Not all who have Fylgjas are here to help others. The lore speaks of light Norns and dark Norns and such is the way with Fylgjas. While some Fylgjas weave good luck and happiness in the tribe, others weave chaos and violence.
Those who have not woken their Fylgjas are susceptible to being ridden by these forces and thus, I think it’s imperative to teach anyone who want to find theirs. Whether they know if or not yet, every one of my students has approached me because their Fylgja is awakening. My job is to help midwife that process. Everyday is a new lesson because each awakening is different. Some are fast, some are slow and like birth, you cannot rush the process. I just trust my Fylgja and keep seeking him for answers and I work to learn his language.
Here are some signs that your Fylgja is awakening:
#1 The events in your life and the way others react to you don’t logically make sense
#2 You feel uncomfortable all the time, like you belong in the wrong body
#3 You look at yourself in the mirror and don’t recognize yourself
#4 Your relationships with the opposite sex really suck even though you are doing all the right things
#5 You are falling in love with people who you normally wouldn’t have in the past
If you are experiencing these things, I have found that some simple guidelines help a lot:
#1 Watch everything you say. In the world of the Fylgja, all words we say manifest into being. As they wake up, they want to help us and they listen to every word we say and seek to fulfill it. Keep disparaging yourself aloud and your Fylgja with see it as a wish that you want. Stick to saying positive things about yourself.
#2 Do not blame yourself or anyone around you for your misfortune. Try to look at your circumstances in an objective manner.
#3 The Fylgja is charged with the archetypes of people we interact with in life. Find some good role models to know. People who treat you with respect and kindness. Try not to spend time with anyone who would disparage you. This may mean seeing people or experiences outside your comfort zone.
In the previous post, I talked about Astral Sex. This is done via Fylgjas and they share Runic knowledge and magic via these channels of love and connection. This realm is a little bit unnerving for most people because it exists in a space that is not known to a lot of us. There is an intimacy to spiritual work that is beyond what many people experience in their human romantic relationships. If one person in a romantic relationship has an awakened Fylgja and the other does not, then the awakened Fylgja will become lonely and will hunt the astral highways for connection. The resulting experiences might become intense and confusing, so being communicative with one’s partner is paramount in this. There will come a point that the Fylgjas take on a life of their own and they will become equal partners with us and it’s paramount to always communicate with them and feed them our love.
If you are experiencing this, the best thing you can do is seek out people who have awakened Fylgjas. Ask your Fylgja to lead you to the right people in order to grow. Ask them aloud. Be completely honest with them. Then ask them to show you signs that you will follow, signs you will recognize. These, plus the tools I left above will aid you immensely.
The Fylgjas of people are awakening in the Heathen Community whether we want them to or not. Runes are becoming more and more popular and every time you Galdr a Rune, you wake your Fylgja a little more. The Runes work to facilitate this awakening. (See the Saga of the Volsungs as a metaphorical template here)
The key now for our Heathen Community is to grow in a strong way, centered in balance of all the Nine Realms instead of what happened to the Germanic Zeitgeist when the Runes woke their Fylgjas 100 years ago. Things are going to get weird in the next 5-10 years for our community and it’s paramount that our Volvas and Vitkis work on themselves and work with one another to ensure a bright future.